Wedding Night Intimacy – Part 1

Before we even start on the details of wedding night intimacy I’m going to suggest you download and either read or listen to – my FREE report – How To Have Better Sex – Wonderful Relationships & Transform Your Life – because there’s lots in that report (audio if you prefer) that’ll help you to stop stressing over sex now or any time in the future in addition to what we’re going to discuss here.

So – with your wedding night approaching there are lots of reasons why you might be starting to get a little anxious about the issue of wedding night intimacy.

Whether or not you’ve made love before – you’re probably building your wedding night up in your mind to be a very special and maybe even a somewhat daunting event.

Like many people before you – you may be asking yourself questions like:

• What will he or she expect?

• Will I know what to do?

• Will I be able to do it?

• Will I want to do it?

• Will I enjoy it?

• Could it be painful?

• Will I be good enough?

• Will I be able to satisfy my new spouse?

• What if can’t do anything at all?

• Will it be a disaster?

• Will I spoil my marriage from the start?

 
You’re about to discover a few basic guidelines you can follow to make sure you both enjoy making love – not just on your wedding night – but for life!

Remember that though you probably were born totally uninhibited and with the capacity to make love freely, enjoying every moment to the full – without a care – you’ve since grown up in a society that loads you up with sexual inhibitions of one sort or another – day in and day out – especially if you’re a woman.   

It could take a while for you to let go all that programming and enjoy making love totally, but there are a few things you can do to make sure you have a great time right from the start.

• Remember – although making love can be a deeply intimate form of communion and communication for lovemaking to be totally fabulous you need to communicate in other ways before you get anywhere near the bed. 

It’s natural for both of you to have hopes and expectations about your first experience of intimacy together as man and wife, so write down now what you’re imagining and hoping for – what you’d like to happen, how you would like your partner to be and what would you’d like your partner to do on that night – include:

• Where you’d like to be.

• How you’d like the room to be.

• What you’d like to be wearing (if anything).

• What you’d like your partner to be wearing.

• Even how you feel about pubic hair and if you have any desires about that.

Then how you’d like to ‘get in the mood’ – for example:

• Would you like particular music, or lighting, candles, scents?

• Would you like to take a bath, have a massage, give a massage, be tickled, kissed all over or have a pillow fight?

Be honest – your honesty in this area is the most intimate gift you can give your spouse and a precious gift if you’re to have a truly special intimate relationship.

• Next tell your partner you’d like to make your wedding night as wonderful as possible by doing some anticipation preparation – to build up excitement and eliminate any anxieties by each of you sharing your expectations and your fantasies of how that night could be.

It might seem strange at first to be discussing wedding night intimacy ahead of time, but you’ll find that airing your anxieties and expectations ahead of time makes it easier to be relaxed and spontaneous when the night arrives, because you’ve already started sharing intimacy and at the same time allayed a lot of anxieties on both sides.

And – you’ll probably both be very surprised to discover the similarities and the differences in your expectations.  Men, women and people generally have very different expectations and needs – but don’t realize it – most people imagine their partner will enjoy and want the same things they enjoy and want – which is where many sexual problems start in so many relationships!

Do you enjoy having your ear licked for example – or maybe your belly button – ask your partner the same question and compare your reactions.

So if you want to enjoy ecstatic sex for life – start communicating and learning about each other right now – sharing intimacy.

Listen and accept your partner’s hopes and desires without judgment.  And while you listen notice your feelings.  If you feel excited by the suggestions that’s great and you can say so.  

If on the other hand you notice uncomfortable feelings of any sort, tell your partner about your feeling.    It’s much better to face any anxieties and deal with them now rather than on the night itself.

If you still have uncomfortable feelings by the time you’ve read all the Wedding Night intimacy articles and the FREE report contact me at MakeLoveForLife.com for specific help.

It’s also a good opportunity to discuss contraception and safe sex – if you haven’t done that already.
Obviously if neither of you has had a sexual relationship in the past safe sex is not an issue, but if either of you has, then make sure to get a check with your doctor before having unprotected sex.

And do you want to have children right away (and yes it is possible to get pregnant the very first time) or would you rather have some time together without children first?

You may be worried about being a newbie when it comes to wedding night intimacy – but if you want to know how to be a great lover – here’s the secret.  

THE SECRET OF BEING A TRULY GREAT LOVER is to be willing to listen, to watch, to sense, to learn and to adapt to what your partner wants and enjoys on each occasion – knowing moods, desires and pleasures can change from day to day and even from minute to minute.

THE WORST LOVERS are men and women who are actually insecure – and needing a crutch – try to hide behind ‘knowledge’.  They often convince themselves – and try to convince their partners – that they are expert lovers, because they’ve read every manual and know every technique and they’re going to prove it whether its what you want or not!  So instead of being open and ready to learn – they feel offended and insulted if their partner says or indicates that he or she wants something other than what is being delivered.

Other WORST LOVERS are the men and women who expect their partner to know what they desire and enjoy on each occasion – without telling or showing them in any way!

Forget what you’ve read in romance novels and magazines or the totally inaccurate sex scenes you’ve seen on TV or at the cinema – the real pleasure of lovemaking is rarely in the urgent, rushed and quickly finished ‘passion’ they portray (that’s just so it fits into the script and gets some interest).    

 

Read more about this in your FREE report – How To Have Better Sex – Wonderful Relationships & Transform Your Life if you haven’t read it already.

And look out for more wedding night intimacy advice and tips in Part 2.